““You Can Have It All, Just Not at the Same Time”: Why Doctoral Students are Actively Choosing Singlehood”

Background: This research was conducted as part of my Master’s Thesis in 2016. However, I developed the framework for this project while working on my undergraduate honor’s thesis as a McNair Research Scholar at UCLA. Although the samples are quite different, the same passion went into conducting this study.  My honor’s thesis had a race focus, and centered the experiences of mothers of color in Phd programs. Unfortunately, Phd programs in Texas are far less diverse than those in California and I struggled to find enough women doctoral students of color to meet sample requirements. Thus, this study is composed of a somewhat racially diverse sample of men and women in PhD programs at two elite universities in the South. 

This research contributes to the body of literature investigating marriage and family formation processes among academics. Previous research using quantitive (representative statistics based) data shows that academics transition into marriage and family slower and less often than other adults. Scholars have speculated about why this is the case, but prior research has not adequately captured the everyday ideas and plans that contribute to these observed trends. In other words, we knew that academics–both graduate students and faculty–are less likely to be married and have children than non-academics, but we didn’t know why. My study shows that many doctoral students are opting out of dating, a critical and necessary pre-marital stage, due to difficulties balancing work and life. A big factor motivating these decisions is location instability. By the time academics become faculty, they have experienced an average of 3-4 moves, including moving for graduate school, then potentially a post-doc, and finally moving for a faculty position. It is very uncommon to get a faculty job in the same state where the Phd was earned. Thus, these individuals are choosing not to date because they don’t want to have to drag someone along with them, or can’t find someone who is willing to be drug along. This is an important finding that reveals how individuals are reconciling and working around structural constraints. It is also likely that others in graduate and professional programs like medical school and law school experience similar challenges. 

My hope is that institutions will take these concerns seriously, and begin to create more family-friendly circumstances for students. Students should not be forced to choose between family formation and career pursuits. 

Thank you in advance for reading!!! Feel free to leave a comment with your thoughts/feedback!